Answer the questions showing what is important in the process of bringing up children.
1. What can be done to make the child a responsible person?
2. What are the basic patterns of upbringing, both within the family and in the society? What roles do parents, school, and peer-groups play in bringing up children?
3. What is the role of mother and father in a modern family?
4. Is a young mother more eager than previous generations to enroll her child to a nursery? Why?
5. Do you consider grandparents and their influence important in the process of upbringing?
6. What home atmosphere encourages a child’s development?
7. What are the best ways, in your opinion, to praise and to punish a child?
8. Do you think child-care books necessary for young parents? What else can be helpful?
III. Read the text about child care. Explain the meaning of the bold type words and expressions. What is your attitude towards this survey? Were you cared for at home or in kindergarten? Will you send your children to a nursery? Why? Why not?
In the United States today, many parents – both father and mother – work outside the home. As a result, many children are cared for by others while parents are at work. Often they are cared for in special child care facilities outside the home. Psychologists have studied the effect of such care on bonds of attachment between parents and children. They have also looked into effects of child care by people other than parents on children’s social development.
Studies have found that children who become accustomed to being cared for by people other than their parents are less upset than other children than other children when their mothers leave them temporarily. They are also less likely to run to their mothers excitedly when their mothers return. Does this mean the children who are in child care are less attached to their mothers? Many psychologists believe that becoming accustomed to one’s mother’s going and coming is a sign of positive adjustment, not of a lack of attachment or of a social problem. Most children in full-time non-parent child care appear to be securely attached to their mothers.
Non-parent care seems to have mixed effects on other aspects of children’s social development, however. For example, some studies show that children in child care facilities are more sociable with other children, more likely to share their toys, and more independent and self-confident than children who spend the day at home. In these studies, child care seemed to make children more interested in other children and to help them develop social skills. On the other hand, another study found that children in child care facilities were somewhat less cooperative and more aggressive than children cared for at home. Children in child care facilities may receive less attention or fewer resources than they would like. As a result, they may become more aggressive as they compete with the other children for attention and resources. Some psychologists however interpret the greater aggressiveness as a sign of independence rather than maladjustment.
Of course, the quality of child care by people other than parents varies widely. In general, children seem to do better environments that are stimulating. Also, the more adults per child there are and the more sensitive the caregivers are, the higher the quality of the child care.
Abridged from Psychology
IV. 93% of American men and women agree that the care of children should be shared equally by both parents. Besides not one man wants to be the same kind of father that he has had. Read the article devoted to the problem.
The Importance of Being a Father
With many mothers returning to work after the birth of their babies, fathers are becoming more actively involved in the rearing of children than ever before in American culture. In fact, six-month-old infants are generally just as attached to their fathers as they are to their mothers.
Although fathers are as good as mothers at such things as bottle-feeding, once the baby comes home, the mother is usually still the one who does most of the caregiving. Caregiving includes feeding, diapering, and bathing infants. So if men generally do not spend the time they have with their children in caregiving, what is it they do? Most fathers play – and they are very good at it.
The way fathers play turns out to be very different from the way mothers play with their children. Whereas mothers usually use toys or word games, fathers tend to play in rough-and tumble way. They bounce and lift their children. They move their arms and legs. Psychologists have discovered that as infants grow, they come to prefer those sorts of games. By the time most children are 30 months old, they often are more cooperative, excited, and interested in play with their fathers than with their mothers.
But do fathers make a difference in the development of their children? They most certainly do. A father’s involvement has an effect in at least two major areas: social development and cognitive development. Socially, children whose fathers play with them tend to be more popular and have better relationships with their peers. During physical play with their fathers, children learn to figure out other people’s emotions and expressions and to regulate their own emotions. Therefore, fathers help teach them how to get along with their friends and other people. Children whose fathers are involved with them also generally grow up to be more empathic. Empathy is the ability to understand another person’s point of view and imagine what that person might be feeling.
When it comes to cognitive development, a father’s influence is most noticeable in boys. If a boy has a close relationship with his father, he often does better at solving problems and taking cognitive tests.
Because of the influence fathers have on their children’s development, psychologists have argued that a parental leave of absence from work for fathers is very important. Other changes in the workplace, such as shorter workweek s and flexible hours, may make it easier for fathers to spend time with their children. In 1993, Congress passed the Family and Medical Leave Act. This legislation enables new parents to take 12 weeks of unpaid leave. Still, most fathers do not take advantages of this. Some of them simply cannot afford to go without pay for that long. Others may worry that their employers will think they are not committed enough to their jobs if they take time off.
This may change over time. In Sweden, where both parents are guaranteed parental leave, over 40 percent of fathers take time off from their jobs to be with their newborn children. In the 1970s this figure was only 2 percent.
Abridged from Psychology
V. Think about the following. How might it benefit fathers to take an active role in rearing their children?
VI. To show how the concept of fatherhood has changed over time, interview a father who is over 50 years of age, and one who is under 30. Compile a list of questions that will elicit each father’s views on parenting. Possible questions: what is the ideal amount of time to spend with the children; whose responsibility is it to take a sick child to the doctor. Compare and contrast the two interviews in a brief report.
VII. Do you think a man needs to have any particular personality traits to choose to stay home with his children? Why or why not? What do you think are the most important factors in successfully reversing traditional gender roles concerning child care? The story of Philip Kramer can help you to find an answer.
On Wednesday, when Sarah is done watching “Sesame Street,” Philip Kramer usually buys fish for dinner, since the local aquarium store is near the fish market, Philip and Sarah usually stop in to look at the brightly coloured fish swimming in their green-blue tank. They are a familiar couple to most shopkeepers in the neighbourhood, known by sight if not by name – Philip, a tall, barrel-chested man whose thick dark beard and balding head make him make him look older than thirty-three; Sarah, a small golden-haired girl who whisks along in a stroller or prances next to her father’s very deliberate stride. Today they have to stop at the bank to deposit the birthday money that Sarah has received from her grandparents, aunts, and uncles. The local branch of the Chase Manhattan has a large open hall with ropes along the sides to guide the customers efficiently into a waiting line.
“Most mothers make their kids stand in line,” says Philip. “I let her run. She doesn’t really bother anybody.” Sarah wanders off to explore the surface of the smooth white stones that serve as a decorative base for the bank’s two potted plants.
A teenage girl sitting on a nearby bench watches Sarah for a while, then says, “Where’s your mother?”
Gail Kramer is in Room 208 at P.S. 83 in the Bronx, a good half hour’s subway ride away, teaching English to eleventh graders. It was what she did for six years before Sarah was bone, and is what she has done for the last two years since Philip resigned his position as a Legal Aid attorney to stay with Sarah, then a year old.
“We just did it, we just agreed,” offers Gail, indicating how natural it seemed to reverse roles. “I love little kids, but I realized after a year that I’m not the Earth Mother type. I really missed teaching, Philip, at that time, wanted to get some perspective on his job. We’re pretty open about our lives. We never planned to do it for more than a year; we try to take things year by year. I don’t see how you can plan much further than that.
The Kramers were, however, on what they call a “ten-year plan.” Translate: Philip didn’t want to have children until after ten years of marriage. In fact, during the first year of Sarah’s life, Philip didn’t participate at all in the child care. He was literally a father who wouldn’t change a diaper.
“When Sarah was four months old, I started to take an African dance class on Monday nights,” says Gail, “and Philip was pretty anxious.”
With a law degree from Cornell and, ostensibly, not the least inclination to change a diaper, why did Philip Kramer take on full-time fatherhood?
“I did it because it was the right thing to do,” says Philip, “I have a very strong sense of justice, and I realized how totally unjust I’d been. Gail wanted to work. Why shouldn’t she?” The income difference between Gail’s salary as a public-school teacher and Philip’s as a Legal Aid attorney – a few thousand dollars – did not alter the situation. “I’ve never been the sort of person who believed in work. You work if you need money. We won’t be rich, but we can live on Gail’s salary. Anyway, people have the wrong concept of a lawyer. They think it means someone in an office with clients, making money hand over fist; not someone who is trying to help poor people and who is drawing a salary.”
The decision that one parent would stay home with Sarah was never really discussed; it was just assumed. “This isn’t upper west side of Manhattan,” says Philip. “Most people around here are very traditional. They yell a lot when there’s no need to. They’re always treating the kids as if they have less intelligence than they do. We like a strong-willed, self-assertive, self-directing kid. Somebody else might see that as demanding. What was I going to say to someone – let her be free? What does that mean to another person?”
Philip is now in his third year as a full-time father. Because he enjoyed the first year so much, he decided to try another, and then another. When Sarah is four, she will begin attending a day-care centre, and Philip Kramer will begin training in early childhood education at Columbia University Teacher’s College.
From Who Will Raise the Children? by James A. Levine
VI. Find synonyms to the bold type words and expressions. Compose a dialogue, using some or all of them.
VII. Is television good or bad for young children? What effect does it have on them? Did you watch a lot of television when you were small? How much do you let/ are you going to let your children watch? Read the text and find the answers in the text to the questions below.
Television Exposure Damages Child Speech
Dr Sally Ward, the country’s leading authority on the speech development of young children, believes that babies under one year old should not watch television or videos at all. Children of two or three should watch for no more than an hour a day.
Dr Ward’s ten-year study of babies and toddlers in inner-city Manchester showed television was delaying speech development in children. The background noise from televisions stopped them learning to talk as early as they should. At eight months, they neither recognized their names nor basic words like “juice’ and “bricks”. At three, they had the language of two-year-olds.
Now she has found that children from well-to-do families are being handicapped in the same way. “The television is being used as a babysitter, with nannies particularly. Some of these middle-class children are spending far too much time watching television and videos.
“They get very fixed on the colours and flashing lights. We found in our study it was quite difficult to get them interested in toys.”
Parents or minders had stopped talking to them. They were not being taught a basic vocabulary through one-to-one conversation with adults.
All the evidence showed, said Dr Ward, the children whose language was below standard at the age of three could be set back for life.
From The Guardian by Sarah Boseley
toddlers – children aged one to three years old
inner-city – the poor parts of the city
well-to-do – rich
handicapped - damaged
nannies – women who look after other people’s children
minders – nannies and babysitters
set back – damaged; slowed down in development
1. What is bad and good for young children? 2. Two-year-old children don’t have very much to say. Why do you think it is important for them to speak? 3. Does the article reflect your own experience of young children and television? 4. Is it possible that Dr Ward’s research is wrong? Can you think of any problems with this kind of research?
IX. Critics of television are not only worried about young children. How would you answer these comments? Prepare some notes and then discuss the issue in class.
Watching TV is completely passive. You don’t have to do anything.
We’re all becoming couch potatoes.
Teenagers should be creating their own entertainment.
X. Read the extract from a psychological manual and express your attitude towards the problem.
Child Abuse and Neglect
Most parents are kind and loving to their children. Yet child abuse - either physical or psychological – is unfortunately widespread. In a national poll of 1,000 parents, 5 percent of the parents surveyed admitted to physical abusing their children. Physical abuse is beating, hitting, or kicking of another person that results in bodily injury.
Even more common than child abuse is child neglect – the failure to give children adequate food, shelter, clothing, emotional support, or schooling. Physical abuse is horrifying because the results – bruises, burns, and broken bones – are visible. Yet more injuries, illnesses, and deaths result from neglect than from abuse.
Why do some parents abuse or neglect their children? Psychologists have found the following factors to be associated with child abuse and neglect:
stress, particularly the stresses of unemployment and poverty;
a history of child abuse in at least one parent’s family of origin;
acceptance of violence as a way of coping with stress;
lack of attachment to the children;
rigid attitudes about child rearing.
Studies have shown that children who are abused may run a higher risk of developing psychological problems than other children. For example, abused children tend to be insecure. They are less likely than other children to venture out to explore the world. And they tend to have less self-confidence. Physically abused children are also more likely to develop feeling of anxiety and depression, to become aggressive themselves.
There are many possible reasons for this pattern. For one thing, children may imitate their parents’ behavior. If children see their parents coping with feelings of anger through violence, they are likely to do the same. They are less likely to seek other ways of coping, such as humor, verbal expression of negative, deep breathing, or silently ‘counting to 10’ before reacting, thus giving the feelings of anger time to subside.
Children also often adopt their parents’ strict ideas about discipline. Abused children may come to see severe punishment as normal, to believe the old saying “Spare the rod; spoil the child,” which means that a child who is not punished will grow up spoiled. As a result, when they have children of their own, they may continue the pattern of abuse and neglect.
That doesn’t mean, however, that all people who were abused as children will become abusers themselves. Most children who are abused do not later abuse their own children. One study found that mothers who had been abused as children but were able to break the cycle of abuse with their own children were likely to have received emotional support from a nonabusive adult during childhood. They were also likely to have participated in therapy and to have a nonabusive mate.
Abridged from Psychology
XI. There are many ways children can seek help to end abuse. One option is to talk with trusted adults – teachers, religious or school counselors, coaches, or friends. In addition many communities have telephone hot lines and other services available for victims of abuse. Research the opportunities available for victims of abuse in your country and report to the class.
Vocabulary tasks
There are many words that can be used instead of ‘child’. Five other words (expressions) are used in the texts. What are they? Is there any stylistic or other difference between them? Add some other words you know with the same meaning use all of them in the sentences of your own.
II. Style of parenting can be classified along the dimensions of warm-cold and strict-permissive. Both dimensions are continuums, and most parents do not lie at the extremes but cluster in the middle. Define the words below and put them into the chart according to these dimensions. Support your opinion.
Demanding, supportive, lenient, neglecting, flexible, overindulgent, controlling, negligent, careless, affectionate, dictatorial, protective, democratic, indifferent, antagonistic, detached, caring, inconsistent, possessive.
III. What is the best way to punish a child? To praise him / her? What would you never implement as a punishment and why?
CARE means the state of constant and serious attention to someone’s welfare, one’s readiness to take a responsibility. Unlike concern and solicitude, it suggests activities to go through, to overcome some hardships. E.g. Care and diligence bring luck; the care of children’s health; care brings grey hair.
CONCERN suggests one’s mental and emotional state of uneasiness over someone or something in which one has an affectionate interest. Concern is particularly applied to that which awakens a painful interest in the mind ‘to express or show concern for someone’s trouble or distress’. E.g. to show concern for homeless; the child’s future is her greatest concern.
SOLICITUDE is a formal word which implies profound concern, thoughtfulness, for another’s welfare, comfort, safety, success, etc., or almost hovering attentiveness to another’s misfortune. Solicitude is an attitude or extreme attentiveness. It denotes the state of being desirous of good for the object concerned, often anxious concern. Solicitude needs no extraordinary occasion to be aroused and never rises to excess. It expresses hopefulness not implied in care. There may be solicitude to please or tender solicitude for the health of a person. Solicitude may be constantly displayed. It can denote a desire to do not necessarily accompanied by uneasiness. Like concern, it may be a sheer manifestation of attention. Unlike care, concern and solicitude can be used with adjectives denoting degrees. E.g. deep/ profound concern/ solicitude.
IV. Compose a dialogue with the words ‘care, concern, solicitude’.
V. Translate from Russian into English:
Нормальные отношения между родителями и детьми не являются следствием вседозволенности и слабой власти в семье.
Нормальные отношения отражают уверенность и родителей, и детей в том, что мнение каждого из них важно для членов семьи.
В современных пособиях по психологии есть немало примеров того, как телесные наказания приводят к задержке умственного и физического развития детей.
Родители часто прибегают к различным формам словесного и физического наказания своих детей, не понимая того, что это приносит только вред.
Для того чтобы обеспечить полноценное развитие ребенка, родители должны верить в него, не навязывать ребенку своего мнения и относиться к ребенку как к равному.
Если вы не будете прислушиваться к ребенку, вам не удастся стать ему другом и предотвратить кризис переходного возраста.
Учитель должен избегать ситуаций, которые вызывают напряженность в отношении с детьми.
Способность сдерживать свой гнев отличает хорошего учителя от плохого.
Неконтролируемые эмоции взрослых не могут дисциплинировать детей, наоборот, дети становятся неуправляемыми.
FRIENDSHIP
Before you read
Which of these quotations or proverbs do you agree with? Say why / why not.
Friendship never ends. (The Spice Girls)
Money can’t buy friendship.
A faithful friend is the medicine of life. (Ecclesiasticus)
The only way to have a friend is to be one. (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
Old friends are best.
Good neighbours become good friends. (The title song of Neighbours, a TV soap opera)
Tell about a friend of yours. What do you like about her/ him? And what about negative points? Try to explain why you get on well together.
Reading tasks
Read different explanations and definitions of friendship and work out your own, support your ideas with proverbs or quotations if necessary.
Friendship
What are the requirements for friendship? What allows one person to become a friend and another not? Indeed, friends are made for many qualities and different reasons. Some students reflected on the characteristics of friendship, using a proverb to support their thesis.
Who Is a Friend? by Jose Salazar
A Yugoslav proverb says, Show me a friend who will weep with me; those who will laugh with me I can find myself. I agree with this proverb. It's very difficult to find a true friend. For me, a true friend is a person who remains with you in good or bad moments, or a person who supports you when you need it. On occasions, you think that you have a lot of friends, but later on you find out that they were only casual friends who enjoyed with you just special occasions.
I learned something about friendship in my hometown in Mexico. In Mexico I have a lot of "friends" who want to enjoy parties and celebrations with me, and "friends" who look for me only to invite me to drink beer with them because I'm a funny guy at parties. But only a few responded to me when I needed help. Once, I suffered a serious accident that sent me to the hospital for several days. I needed blood and only a few of my hundreds of "friends" went to visit me and offered me their blood. At that moment, I could see who my friends were and who never were my friends. Since then, I have remembered a short Mexican saying: In the sickbed and in the jail, we know our true friends.
Free Will to Choose Friends by Pat Morgado
"Chance makes our relatives, but choice makes our friends," stated Jacques Delille, a French poet (1738-1813). I like this proverb. We cannot choose our family, but I believe that everybody has free will to select friends. The concept of friend differs for each person. For me, good friends are people who help you disinterestedly and without any recompense or reward in mind; moreover, these people accept you even if you have different values. These are people who understand you, keep your secrets, and give you advice.
One of my best friends is Eva. We both like to talk about different kinds of things. Eva has shared with me her intimate problems, in the same way I have put my trust in her. We know what hurts or makes the other feel sad and therefore we do not touch these subjects; on the contrary, we try to boost each other's morales. In our friendship there is respect and sincerity. I would like to continue being her friend. She chose me as her confidant and I chose her as mine. People, who are good friends, are not perfect, because nobody is perfect. Maybe one day I could have problems with them or vice versa. Therefore I have to decide who is and who isn't my friend. God gives us free will to choose friends.
My Friend, Emily by Phoebe Kwong
I absolutely agree with the quotation "Show me a friend who will weep with me; those who will laugh with me I can find myself." It is very hard to find a friend who can listen to your problems. The friend who can be honest with you and help you to solve your problems is a friend. The friend who is willing to share fortune with you, but not share misfortune is not a good friend.
This reminds me of one my former best friends, Emily, whose behavior was very negative because she made friends with some people who belonged to a gang. At the beginning, she was very happy with her life, which was free and liberated. However, she did not care about he parents, who always worried about her very much. Also, she did not listen to them and even snapped back at them. Emily's parents asked me to talk to her. Later, I did talk to Emily, but she did not listen to me either. One year later, she went to jail for two years because she was a scapegoat for her friends who sat up a trap. When I visited her in jail, I was impressed by her telling me that it was so important to have a friend who could change your life a lot.
Read the text, retell it as if you were one of the characters of the story, add some interesting details and use the saying “A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself” in your retelling.
An old friend from abroad, whom I was expecting to stay with me, telephoned from the airport to tell me that he had arrived. I was still at the office at the time, but I had made arrangements for his arrival. After explaining where my new flat was, I told him that I had left the key under the door-mat. As I was likely to be home rather late, I advised him to go into the kitchen and help himself to food and drink.
Two hours later my friend telephoned me from the flat. At the moment, he said, he was listening to some of my records after having just had a truly wonderful meal. He had found a pan on the gas stove and fried two eggs and helped himself to some cold chicken from the refrigerator. Now, he said, he was drinking a glass of orange juice and he hoped I would join him. When I asked him if he had reached the flat without difficulty, he answered that he had not been able to find the key under the door-mat, but fortunately the living-room window just by the apple tree had been left open and he had climbed in. I listened to all this in astonishment. There is no apple tree in front of my living-room, but there is one in front of my neighbour’s!
III. Compose your own story with one of the sayings below.
A simple friend has never seen you cry. A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names. A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party. A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed. A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems. A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could blackmail you with it.
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you HAVE an argument. A real friend calls you after you had a fight.
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them. A real friend expects to always be there for you!
IV. How do you get on with new people? What if you have to live or work together? Do you become friends – or drive each other mad? Read about it.
Living with a Stranger
The roommate situation is the first challenge students face. Learning to tolerate a stranger’s idiosyncrasies may teach flexibility and the art of compromise. But the learning process is often painful. At Ithaca College in Upstate New York, Julie Noel and her roommate were uncommunicative and uncomfortable throughout the year. “I kept my stereo up once for a whole day just to test her because she was so timid,” says Noel. “It took her until dinnertime to finally turn it off.” Near year’s end, the two ended up in screaming fight. “Looking back, I wish I had talked to her more about how I was feeling,” says Noel.
Most roommate conflicts spring from such small, irritating differences. Suzie Orr, director of housing at Indiana’s St Mary’s College, says that the matching process is complicated: “Do you put together people who are similar – or different, so they can learn about each other?”
Alan Sussman at the University of Maryland says: “I think they must have known each of our personalities and picked the opposite.” While Sussman was neat and a compulsive studier, his roommate was messy and liked to party into the early hours. Sussman considered moving out at the end of the semester, but decided to stay and “fight it out”. Against all odds, the two ended up being friends. Says Sussman: “We taught other a lot.”
There are many stories of college roommates becoming lifelong friends. Singer Jean Norris Renee Neufville of the soul duo Zhane started writing songs while rooming together at Temple University in Philadelphia. After breaking up with their boyfriends within 24 hours of each other, they managed to compose their way out of the blues.
From U.S. News & World Report
idiosyncrasies – somebody’s individual qualities/ habits
compromise – half way between two points of view
timid – easily frightened, shy
spring from – come from/ originate from
matching – putting two suitable people together
against all odds – although it was very improbable
compose their way out of the blues – avoid sadness by writing songs
V. What ‘idiosyncrasies’ do you find irritating in other people? Which of these people would really annoy you?
He plays nothing but rap music.
She loves to complain and criticize – she’s always negative.
She doesn’t really listen when you speak to her.
He stops in front of every mirror and looks at himself.
He can’t accept any sort of criticism. He is always right.
She leaves her clothes everywhere around the house.
She never wants to eat the same thing as everyone else.
VI. Mahatma Ganhi said “The only really lasting and valuable friendship is between people of similar nature.” In the article, Suzie Orr is not sure of this. What do you think?
Read about totally opposed in temperament but paradoxically friends. Do you know the same examples of friendship in real life? Present it to your classmates.
The Record
Fred Ames and I haven’t much in common. I sometimes wonder why we are friends at all. Perhaps it is Fred’s skill as a craftsman that I find so attractive. He’s always busy making things. Everything he makes is so perfect that I sometimes feel a twinge of envy. If I happen to remark that one of my books is so tattered that I shall have to throw it away, Fred takes it home with him and returns it a few days later beautifully bound. If I knock over a vase and it is shattered into thousand pieces, Fred puts it together again in such a way that only an expert would see the difference.
My trouble is that I’m one of those hopelessly impractical and incurable lazy people. Outside my work at the office (which is dull enough, God knows), the only thing that interests me is listening to classical music. I have a big collection of records and all day long the only thing I can think about is when I am going to get home to listen to a new symphony or concerto.
I’ve often tried to get Fred interested in music. When I’m in one of my talkative moods (which isn’t often, by the way), I spend hours pointing out the beauties of a particular piece. I look at him as he’s gazing at that little black statue of a monkey I keep on the mantelpiece and wonder if he’s heard anything at all. When I look into those big, blue, expressionless eyes of his, I realize that he hasn’t been listening to a word I’ve said. ‘I’d love to make a copy of that some day,’ he remarks, indicating the statue.
One Saturday afternoon I came home from work even earlier than usual. Getting home from work is one of the few things I’m good at. It’s certainly the only time I ever hurry. But this day I excelled myself. I had just bought a new recording of Schumann’s piano concerto and I could hardly wait to listen to it.
I had already played the record twice over when Fred came in. perhaps because of the effect the music had on me, I was more than usually pleased to see him. I started talking excitedly about the record: how perfect it was, how marvelous; how he just had to listen to it. He said nothing and after he had sat down, he asked me where the little black monkey had got to. I answered irritably that the cleaner had knocked it off the mantelpiece and I had thrown it away. ‘What a pity,’ Fred exclaimed.
After I had put the record on, I left the living-room to make some tea. I gave Fred strict instructions to listen to the music as I was sure he would like it.
It took me some time to get the tea ready and when I returned with a tray, the second movement had just begun. I immediately started singing loudly and did not stop till the movement had come to an end. Then I remembered that I wanted Fred to listen to the concerto, not to my remarkable version of it, so I kept quiet.
Later, when I took the tea things out, I could not help thinking that there had been a different expression on Fred’s face this time. His eyes had lit up in a curious way. He looked as if he had just discovered something. Once he even smiled to himself. He had been listening!
I got back to the living-room to find Fred actually holding the record in his hands! It was so strange to see such a delicate object in his big, rough hands that for a moment I felt like telling him to be careful. But I was too pleased with myself to do that.
‘Did you enjoy it?’ I asked eagerly.
‘Oh, yes … yes,’ he answered vaguely.
I don’t know what came over me, but at that moment I said, ‘Well, you can have it.’
Fred was astonished. ‘What, the record? No, I couldn’t,’ he answered, ‘you’ve only just…’
‘Go on, take it!’ I insisted.
‘Well, thanks very much. I will.’
A few days later Fred arrived with a little box under his arm. He gave it to me smiling as soon as he came in. ‘A little present,’ he said.
When I opened it, I was astonished to find an exact copy of the little monkey which my cleaner had broken.
‘Did you make this, Fred?’ I asked incredulously.
‘Yes,’ answered Fred simply with a big smile all over his face.
‘But however did you manage it?’ I asked.
‘Oh, it was quite easy really,’ Fred answered. ‘I got the idea from a magazine. You just melt down an old gramophone record and then you can mould it into any shape you like.’
From Essay and Letter Writing by L.G. Alexander
twinge – sudden, sharp pain
incurable – that cannot be cured
concerto – musical composition for one or more solo instruments supported by an orchestra (e.g. a piano concerto ,a concerto for two violins)
excel – do better/ faster than others or usually, be very good
movement – principal division of a musical work with a distinctive structure of its own (e.g. the final movement of the Ninth Symphony)
The English poet William Blake (1757-1827) wrote:
I was angry with my friend.
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe.
I told it not; my wrath did grow.
Can you explain the message of the poem? Do you agree with the idea?
Read this letter to an ‘agony columns’ in a magazine where people write for advice. Imagine you have to answer. Write to Catherine, giving some advice.
Dear Sandy,
I don’t know what to do. Emma and I have been best friends for years. We do everything together. But now things are doing wrong. Two months ago I started going out with a gorgeous boy called Darren. I’m crazy about him. The problem is that Emma really likes him, too. I can’t help noticing the way they look at each other. We’ve always discussed everything in the past, but we don’t talk about him – it’s almost a forbidden subject. If they get together, I’m going to lose my best friend AND my boyfriend – I can’t bear to think about it. Please help me.
Catherine
Vocabulary tasks
Supply attributes for the noun ‘friend’, some of them are in the texts above. What aspects of friendship do they reflect?
Think about friendship between women. Is it different from friendship between men? Use the words below in you report.
LONG for / after someone or something, or to do something means to have unceasing, prolonged desire for what is exceedingly difficult or impossible to obtain or to do at the moment, but quite attainable in the future; to return something that happened or existed in the past. It is often emotional.
E.g. The shawls were rainbow hued, and beguilingly soft, and her eyes longed for their beauty. She couldn’t afford a shawl; she had only coppers in her purse.
YEARN for / after someone or something is to desire passionately and tenderly, you do not feel happy or complete without it. It means a stronger desire fro what is the object of love and attachment than long does. It is chiefly elevated and poetical. E.g. If she could only feel that sense of oneness with him for which she had yearned since that day, so long ago, when he had come home from Europe and stood on the steps of Tara and smiled up at her.
HANKER for / after something, or to do something is colloquial and familiar. It implies your restless or incessant desire for something forbidden; that is, for example, out of reach, because of your physical appetite, or because of lust, greed or envy, ambition, etc. You are unhappy or annoyed if you cannot have what you want.
E.g. He hankered after money so much.
PINE for / after someone or something, or to do something means to long painfully, to yearn deeply; to grow weak and unhappy with a desire for something or somebody.
E.g. The dog is still pining for his master and has got ill.
III. Translate from Russian into English.
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